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spouse support

I am writing to let people know how important support from your spouse is during the pursuit of a fire career. This might seem long winded but please bare with me. I read a lot of posts and I talk a lot with new firefighters and wives about this incredible career. I have been a firefighter for 8 years, I have worked with 2 departments and moved my family 6 hours from our home town to get my dream job. Now trust me when I say this my wife was not very excited about this major move in our new life together, in fact she hated the idea and I believe she had some resentment toward me. My wife is a teacher and she had a great job in the Long Beach school district we were renting a small house in long beach near the beach and her commute was short and life was great. I was in paramedic school and was basically making no money. My new bride knew how badley I wanted to be a firefighter so she really had no problems supporting us until I could get hired. That was until I did. Like I said I recieved a job offer in Northern Cal which I was not about to turn down. We went back and forth about our new move ahead and she was not happy that I would consider moving us to a new city where she or I new noone and she would not have a job. We were leaving a comfort zone to an unknown zone. My wife knew that my first year would be shaky being on probation. Our first 4 months were difficult being that I was hired in June and right at the biggining of fire season. I loved the fact that I was thrown right in and was sent on several strike teams out of county and was living the "dream" of finally being a firefighter. But one thing I did not recognize was that my wife was miserable at home, she had no friends and we did not live in the city I worked in so meeting other wives was difficult. The people that she taught with in her new job did not understand her lifestyle because they were not married or not married to firefighters.Now, fast forward a couple of years. Tiffany (my wife) eventually made some great friends and started to settle in to our new life in Nor Cal but, thats when I decided to take a lateral job with a different department in a different city. That went over real well let me tell you (sarcasm)!! That was 5 years ago and today we are living in a great city we have established some great friends some that are not in the fire service but most are. We have two great children and great jobs. Tiffany stood by me for so many years even when she hated where my chioce of careers had taken us. She is a great woman, she listens to me talk about work endlessly and tries to get excited for me when I tell her about the fire I had last night and how close I was to getting hurt.
She is awsome!! But now things have turned and it is her turn to do what she wants to do. Tiffany stuck by my side during the worst times as a firefighters wife, and now she can relax and fulfill her needs. Tiffany quit her job as a teacher last month so that she can find a career that she loves as much as I do. I feel that it is the least I can do to let it be her turn to find her dream job. I will support her as much as she did me no matter how hard it gets. That is the sacrafice you take to make a marriage work. I know that being married to a firefighter can be difficult, but being married to a person that puts up with all of the guys at the house and sleeplesness wondering if I am being safe and new "projects " I have planned on my days off is much more of a reward than my Badge.
I know how hard it seems now for all of you new firefighter wives and families but the reward will come soon enough. Be supportive to your spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend because they will do the same for you when its your turn to find what you love. Being a probie is hard on us as well but I think that you (the spouses) take a harder hit than we do, and for that I thank you.

For the wives, if you have questions about anything I know that my wife and I am sure many others on this board would love to talk to you and ease your mind. Because trust me they know what you are going through. Thanks for reading this I hope it helps.

Attitude is a decision!

One Hundred Ways

Just Once
Compliment what she does
Send her roses just because
If it's violins she loves
Let them play

Dedicate her favourite song
And hold her closer all night long
Love her today
Find one hundred ways

Dont forget,
there could be an old lover in her memory
If you need her so much more
Why don't you say?

Maybe she has it in her mind
That she's just wasting her time
Ask her to stay
Find one hundred ways

Being cool won't help you keep a love warm
You'll just bl*w your only chance
Take the time to open up your heart
That's the secret of romance

Sacrifice if you care
Buy her some moonlight to wear
If it's one more star she wants
Go all the way

In your arms tonight, she'll reflect
That she owes you the sweetest of debts
If she wants to pay
Find one hundred ways

Love her today
Find one hundred ways

...............................Quincy Jones
This message was edited by tomdeltazulu on 7-1-07 @ 6:21 PM

Great post!!!!

Hey! Don't forget about the supportive husbands!!!

very true...

Have your wives and girlfriends connect with other women who truly understand what it takes to be a supporter. Have them visit
VISIT to connect with other fire wives/girlfriends.